


The Many Parents of Angus McDonald, or How Many People List Saving the World on their Resume Anyway?

by charmandhex



Series: The Many Parents of Angus McDonald [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Background Taakitz Blupjeans Sweet Flips Hurloane and Davenchurch!, Canon Compliant, Canon-typical language, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Happy Ending, Happy TAZiversary I'm back on my bullshit, M/M, Now with more parents more title and more words, Post-Canon, TAZiversary fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 14:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20311015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmandhex/pseuds/charmandhex
Summary: It’s time for another time-honored school tradition. Taako’s looking forward to it. Lucas really isn’t. Angus doesn’t know quite what to expect. It turns out better than anyone hoped.





	The Many Parents of Angus McDonald, or How Many People List Saving the World on their Resume Anyway?

**Author's Note:**

> I do not consent to having my work hosted on any unofficial apps, particularly those with ad revenue or subscription services.

We open on a classroom, really more of a lecture hall. The two sets of doors at the entrance open onto two aisles, sloping gently downward toward the far wall. Along the aisles are rows upon rows of chairs with attached desks too small to be of much use, with some certainly too wobbly to be of any use at all. The focus of the room is the podium at the center of the small, half-circle space along the back wall. Near that podium is another door, through which professors enter, some dumping their belongings and graded exams on the long table against the wall before hurrying to the podium, some nonchalantly striding through with socks, sandals, and coffee mug in hand.

This door swings wide, and we see Lucas Miller enter the room. The headmaster rubs at his face, eyeing the podium with some apprehension and the room at large even more so. It _should_ be big enough for the intended purpose. Indeed, they’d be hard pressed to find a bigger space in the school, save the various labs (and those are strictly off limits unless you’re wearing the proper PPE – and somehow Lucas doubts that some of those expected to come tomorrow would be amenable to that).

Why had he agreed to this again? Lucas wonders, dropping into one of the seats in the first row. He fidgets, squirming a bit to get comfortable before settling. Yes, he’d been assured countless times it was customary (not that he’d had much experience in the matter, given that his mom had been responsible for his education and Lucas had known he’d follow in her path near from infancy). Yes, the students had seem excited at the idea. Yes, they’d already planned everything out and arranged it all and everyone already knew to come. But Lucas is, understandably, having some concerns.

After all, inviting parents in for Career Day gets considerably more complicated when one of your pupils has something like twenty of them.

* * *

Angus McDonald is not nervous. No, sir, definitely not nervous. Sure, he’s never been to anything resembling a Career Day, but he’d still been able to pick detective as a career by age 7. Sure, he’s changed his mind a few times since then (to include Seeker, magic boy, savior of the world, soccer player, student, and possibly tenured professor in the future), but that just means he should be more comfortable with the idea of Career Day than his peers are.

Okay. Angus McDonald might be a _smidge_ nervous.

It’s not because of himself. No, Angus is just the smallest bit nervous because…

He’s not entirely sure who’s going to show up. 

Unlike the last school event that required parental attendance, Angus knows that all of his parental figures know about this event and has discussed it with them. And none of them had seemed particularly swayed by Lucas’s letter stressing that the number of parental figures per individual student should be limited to single digits. And, well, it’s one thing to have everyone and their god show up for your parent-teacher conference with your headmaster, but it’s another thing entirely to have them do so in a semi-public setting with all of your classmates. Simply, Angus can’t predict what’s going to happen (he’s not even sure that Paloma’s slowly re-growing stock of prophecies could do that). And that might have him just a hair nervous.

So he’s milling about the hallway outside the lecture hall with his classmates, waiting for the doors to open and for their parents (and his own) to show up, trying not to pace. He watches as some parents start to trickle in: a tiefling cleric here, a gnomish rogue there, a barkeep that he can only describe as tall rising well over the heads of everyone else in the distance.

“Hachi machi, pumpkin, no need to be nervous.”

Despite Taako’s reassurance, Angus jumps as the wizard seems to appear out of nowhere next to him. Taako grins a half-apologetic smile at that.

“Hello, sir,” Angus greets him with a smile of his own. “You arrived on time.”

“Psh, of course I did,” Taako drawls. “Wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

“Being here for my Career Day or to tease Lucas?’ Angus asks.

“How about both?” Taako says with a shrug, before, laughing, he ruffles Angus’s hair. “You’re the important part.”

“Wow, sir, can’t believe you admitted that you like me.”

“Listen, little man, if I gotta show up to Career Day to finally convince you to ditch this school and start teaching at mine, then that’s just how Taako do.”

The doors open, and Angus, followed by Taako, starts through them. Immediately, Angus sees Lucas watching below, having been nudged into running this show himself by some of the more prominent patrons of his school. He can easily see when Lucas spots them, and Angus gives a tentative wave. Other parents and children are already sitting, so Angus starts further into the room. Somewhat to Angus’s surprise, Taako continues to follow Angus’s lead, down the aisles to the second row (second, because Angus isn’t that big of a nerd, thank you). Angus scoots in a couple seats, leaving room for Kravitz or Magnus or Lucretia or whoever else shows up, and Taako plops down into the seat on Angus’s right, quickly swinging a leg up over the front row, putting his other foot against the seat back, and making direct eye contact with Lucas as he does. Lucas’s sigh is audible from their place here.

Taako leans over to Angus. “Oh, uh, listen, some- Krav and Lup and dear Barold might be a _little_ late… something about work business.”

“Oh, I don’t mind.”

‘You don’t?’

“Sir, I’m still getting used to people showing up at all.”

Taako jiggles his foot, sucking on his teeth for a moment. “You know what, fair point. Shitty point, but fair point.”

“And-”

“ANGO!” A familiar voice shouts from the back of the room. Angus turns and Taako cranes his neck to look upside down to see none other than one Magnus Burnsides standing at the left entrance door. He waves, and then he holds up a paw from Johann (still in the baby bjorn, but rather more awake) to wave as well. And then Magnus rushes down the aisle. He stops, hovering at the entrance to the second row. “But I wanna sit next to Ango!” Magnus half-whines, ignoring the stares (could be the fact that it’s Magnus Burnsides, could be the fact that Magnus Burnsides has a puppy in a baby carrier). “Hm…” And then Magnus ducks into the mostly empty third row, though he still cuts across in front of three people with, “Excuse me, pardon me, savior of the universe coming through. Also dog. Dog coming through.” And then Magnus trots around to the second row to grab the seat to Angus’s left. “Hi, Ango!”

“Hi, sir,” Angus says, reaching over to say hello to Johann the puppy as well. “So. Um. Who else… did anyone else _definitively_ tell you that they were coming? I tried to ask some people to stay back, but everyone was pretty set on coming.”

“Listen, Djangus, listen. Sometimes… sometimes in life, you just gotta show up to things. Even if you turn it into a fire hazard.”

“Please don’t turn Career Day into a fire hazard.”

“Yes, please don’t turn Career Day into a fire hazard,” Lucas calls, though still quietly enough that the only people who look up in alarm are the three other groups within the first four rows.

“Lup’s coming though; that’s automatically a fire hazard,” Magnus responds, and Taako nods in agreement. “Oh, shit. This is a _really shitty desk_.” Angus watches, entirely unsurprised, as Magnus repeatedly raises and lowers the tiny desk, looking at it with unabashed fascinated disgust. Naturally, Magnus had managed to select one of the most notoriously wobbly desks in the place, one of those most likely to scatter your notes in a mushroom cloud of paper. Angus avoids it at all costs. “Hey, Lucas! This is a really shitty desk!” Magnus calls, more loudly.

Lucas lets out a very put upon sigh. “Thank you for your observation, Magnus.” And then he startles, straightening. “Oh, hello- Madame- Mom- Director- Lucretia?” Lucas settles on as the Director of the Bureau of Balance approaches.

“Hello, Lucas,” Lucretia says, far calmer and happier to see him now with the world at peace.

“I didn’t expect you?”

Lucretia arches an eyebrow. “Did you really not?”

“Well, Angus has so many parents-”

“And I’m one of them. You’ll do fine. Probably. Just don’t have another demo with that elevator.”

“Ha, yeah, yes, ma’am.” Lucas salutes weakly.

And Lucretia steps away from the podium to see the rest of her family. “Hello, Angus. Magnus. Taako.”

“Hello, ma’am!” Angus chirps happily.

“Lucy!” Magnus jumps to standing, knocking the desk over again with a clatter and a bang, nearly diving over the row of chairs to tackle Lucretia in a bear hug.

“Magnus. Breathing. Is important.”

“Not as important as hugs!”

Eventually though, Magnus releases Lucretia. Only to be tackled into a hug of his own from behind by one Carey Fangbattle. The poor people in the third row look to be seriously reconsidering their choice of seats, having had the Dragonborn cross in front of them to tackle Magnus. As it is, no one else among Angus’s classmates has dared approach. Even the two groups to the left and right of the aisles look apprehensive about their current locations.

“Hello, Carey. Hello, Killian.” Angus greets them both. “Thanks for being here.”

“Angus!” The two chorus, Carey diving over Magnus to hug him as well.

“Wouldn’t have missed it, kiddo.” Killian says with a wide grin. “Plus, it’s not every day that a kid comes to career day with-” she quickly counts “-five saviors of the universe for parents!”

“Ahem!” A familiar gruff voice announces, and Angus looks up to see Merle and Davenport, standing in the podium floor space, near directly in front of a resigned-looking Lucas. Naturally, Merle was the one to object. “Make that _seven_ saviors of the universe, thank you.”

“So you _are_ acting as my parent then, sir?” Angus quips, and Taako starts cackling as Merle sputters.

“Nice to see you again, too, Angus.” Davenport says.

“Captain. How’s the ship?”

“Still ship-shape! It’ll take more than storms or sirens or even a fleet of ghost pirates and a kraken to take her down,” Davenport says, beaming with pride.

“Yeah, even with us there, Dav still got her out,” Merle adds, nudging Davenport with his left arm.

“I drove the ship for like five minutes!” Magnus objects. “I have vehicle proficiency!”

“Yes, and you did a wonderful job not crashing my ship.”

“Thank you, Cap’nport!”

Davenport looks at Magnus, really looks at him, and raises an eyebrow. “Magnus. Did you… did you bring a dog to this event?”

“Captaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. We aren’t on the Starblaster.”

“Looks like he did bring a dog to this event,” Lucretia adds, trading cautious smiles with Davenport as she reaches to pet the puppy.

“Lucretiaaaaaaaaaaaaa. We aren’t on the moon base either!”

“Did you ask Lucas?” Lucretia asks, taking the seat in front of Magnus. Killian takes the one to Lucretia’s right, and Carey sits next to her wife on Killian’s other side.

“No! Of course I didn’t ask Lucas!”

“We generally don’t allow dogs in the school,” Lucas calls as Merle and Davenport pick the first two seats in the front row on the right side of the aisle. Davenport looks up once he’s sat, and, seeing Angus watching, he winks.

“That’s why I didn’t ask you, Lucas!” Magnus calls back. “It’s okay though, I didn’t hear you!”

“Who’s not asking Lucas what? Or not hearing what?” Ren’s good-natured lilting voice reaches Angus’s ear, and he turns around to see her directly behind him, Roswell sitting on her shoulder.

“Hello, Ren! Hello, Sherriff!”

“Hello, Angus!” Roswell chirps, fluttering off Ren’s shoulder to sit on the backrest in front of Angus. They ruffle their feathers, flapping their wings a few times before settling in.

“Hey there, Angus.” Ren rises to her tip toes to lean over the seat to give Angus a hug. “Hey, boss.”

“Ren. You wound me. You go to family dinner.”

“I also wrote up an incident report for a certain explosion in the cafeteria today.” Ren retorts, settling in the seat behind Angus.

“Listen. It was for science!”

“Uh-huh.”

“But that excuse always works for Barold.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Lucretia says, almost automatically. A sliver of tension, but it melts like ice in the sun.

“It _sometimes_ works for Barold.” Taako grumbles, crossing his arms and sinking lower in his chair. Angus briefly wonders how he intends to rise from the untenable position.

“Oh, Paloma!” Ren calls, and Angus blinks. Of those he’d been expecting here, the wizened woman from Refuge had not been on that list. He stands to get a better view, and sure enough, a very short person with large quantities of shocking white hair toddles past Davenport and Merle. “You can sit over here with the rest of us!”

“We’re here too!” Merle yells back.

“And you can sit here too, old man!” Taako shoots back.

“Never mind!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine! I will sit right _here._” Paloma calls. She’s reached the chair right in the corner, still in the first row but right up against the wall, three seats between her and Merle. Angus wonders if she knows something he doesn’t.

“You know, Angus,” Magnus whispers conspiratorially, having raised the tiny desk up once more. “I bet I could fix this right here. Without Lucas even knowing.”

“Sir, I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“Nonsense! I’m a master carpenter!”

“And the last time you said that here, you sat on and broke a table.”

“It was a weak table! Trust me, Ango, I know what I’m doing,” Magnus says as he surreptitiously looks up and starts pulling both carpenter’s and thieves’ tools out of his many pockets.

“Do you?” Taako shoots across Angus, and Magnus sticks his tongue out at Taako.

“Hey, hey, Angus! How’s my favorite cannon copilot!” Avi calls out a greeting, having walked past the same three people in the third row. Brad is shortly behind him, politely apologizing as he steps over them, but, to Angus’s observant eyes, it looks like they’ve about reached their limits. “Oh… hi. Um. Is this seat taken?” Avi stumbles forward as Brad, still apologizing to the people behind him and not looking where he’s going, walks straight into Avi.

“Yep!” Ren says cheerfully.

“Oh.”

“By you, of course. You’re welcome to it.”

“Oh!” Avi sits next to Ren, completely missing Brad’s frantic series of apologies to him.

After he pauses to draw breath again, Brad greets Angus. “Hi there, Angus. I trust you’re doing well?”

“Yes, Brad. I’m enjoying school!”

“Wonderful!” Brad grins and sits down next to Avi.

“Glad to see we aren’t late!” Angus’s head whips in the other direction to see the two dryads.

“Yeah, only because _someone_ insisted on speeding over here,” Hurley teases Sloane, whose wooden cheeks still manage to go pink.

“Yeah? Well, I got us here on time, didn’t I?” Sloane teases back, and Hurley’s mouth twists, trying not to laugh. “Anyway. Great to see you again, Angus!”

“It’s great to see you two, too!” Angus says back. “How are the races?”

“Less fun now that they’re legalized,” Sloane answers immediately, and Hurley gives a half-shrug of agreement at that.

“Really? Battlewagon races get _boring_?” Magnus asks. He’s gotten the desk surface free of its screws and is carefully inspecting it. Angus half expects him to start gnawing on it to assess the quality.

“Did she say that, Magnus?” Hurley asks as she sits on Ren’s other side, Sloane taking the seat on Hurley’s right.

“Battlewagon racing is _never_ boring. Just, just takes a little bit of the fun out of it when you aren’t getting away with something. So I just steal more things to make up for it!”

“Sloane!” Hurley near yells.

“But, Hurls, I’m really, _really_ good at it!”

As Hurley and Sloane continue their banter, Ren and Avi strike up a conversation; Roswell flits over to speak to Brad; Carey and Killian start chatting to Lucas, having apparently buried the murder hatchet; Paloma passes (or perhaps tosses would be the better word) scones to (at) Merle and Davenport; and Magnus continues fiddling with the desk, talking to Lucretia. Angus leans over to Taako. “So. This is everyone, right? You said that Kravitz, Lup, and Barry would probably be late, and I didn’t really discuss this with anyone else. So, we’re good, right?”

“Weeeeeeeeeell, and, uh, listen… some people… some _other_ people… may have heard about this, too. Not from me! No, uh, definitely, definitely not from me!”

“Hey! Boy detective!” Jess the Beheader calls, charging down the second row toward them. “And Magnus, Taako. Oh, hey Merle!” Jess booms across the room. “Haven’t seen you guys in ages! Hey, Magnus, when are you gonna come back for a good ol’ I’Morko redux, huh?”

“Ehhhhhh. Maybe in like a month or two. Lemme check my calendar.” Magnus glances down at Angus. “Oh! When are you fighting Jeff Angel next?”

“That’s… that’s… hey, big guy, when are we next duking it out with Jeff Angel? Oh, don’t be shy, come on over!” And it’s then that Angus looks past Jess to see a large, peaceable-seeming figure at the end of the row, looking anxiously at the small space as if debating whether he can actually fit down the aisle with Jess. The people in the third row look like this is probably their breaking point.

“Hey, it’s Klaarg!” Taako yells, near in Angus’s ear. “Hey, Klaarg!”

“Hello, Taako, Angus, Magnus, Merle, everyone.” Klaarg waves. “Oh, um, now Jess, that would be… three months out?”

“I’ll do it then,” Magnus says immediately. “Gotta bring Ango though. Convert him to the number one I’Morko fan.” Magnus pauses and thinks. “And a Jess fan.”

“I like everyone.”

“You have a Jeff Angel shirt!”

“You ripped that shirt.”

“We fixed it later!” As the conversation bounces back and forth, Klaarg decides against shoving his way down the aisle and quite possibly ripping off half a dozen small desks entirely, and he takes the far aisle seat of the first row, his fur and bulk falling into the aisle space.

“Oh! Hello there, Lucas,” Klaarg says politely, having spotted a flabbergasted Lucas behind the podium. “It’s been a while. How are things?”

“Oh, uh, well, lost my lab, but…” Lucas gestures around them by way of answer. “Got my school. How is… how is your family?”

“Oh, they’re doing wonderfully, thank you for asking!” Klaarg says, seeming touched.

“Hey, when’s this show getting started?” Merle calls loudly. “Some of us have dinner reservations after this!”

“Family dinner is a no reservations thing!” Taako yells back. “Especially when your fiancé, sister, and brother are all late,” he grumbles more quietly so that only Angus hears.

“Merle, we’re scheduled to start in just a few-” Lucas is interrupted as the lower door behind him, the one meant for professors and lecturers and harried headmasters to go through, flies open with a bang. And out steps a tall, burly half-orc woman in miner’s garb and a top hat. “Um. What. Where did… where did you come from?” Lucas asks, bewildered.

For her part, Cassidy also seems bewildered, at least by the question. “Why, I just came right outta that door right here. I’m here for uh… well, Paloma said I oughtta come what with bein’ the Elder of Refuge and all and- oh hey Paloma!” Cassidy shouts, and Paloma waves blithely. “Hey, Merle, Taako, Magnus! Hey there, tiny gerblin boy! This is your school thing, then, right?” Cassidy looks around. So does Angus. The people in the third row have finally vacated their spots, Brad waving sheepishly to them as they go. “Well now I’m gonna sit right here, right next to this big furry gerblin fellow. Hello, big furry gerblin!” Cassidy says as she sits down right next to Klaarg. Lucas slowly shuts the door as he watches her go, still stunned.

“Oh, I’m not strictly speaking a- well, I was a supervisor to a group of gerblins before, but that- that didn’t end entirely-” Klaarg half-rambles an explanation while Cassidy listens wide-eyed.

“Uh-huh. Say, big furry gerblin, how would _you_ like a root beer barrel?” Cassidy offers a handful to Klaarg, whose eyes light up, and he delicately takes one candy and throws it into his mouth.

“Uh. Um. Okay. Uh, attention everyone, we’ll be getting started shortly,” Lucas calls out, voice projected through the room, and some of the noise filling the space begins to die down.

“Oh! Well then, that means I’m not late!” A human man scoots his way along the row towards the seat next to Jess. It takes Angus a few moments to recognize him. After all, the last time Angus had seen him, he’d been wearing some especially trashy wizard’s robes, not a train uniform.

“Graham! Or should I say Percy?” Angus asks, tilting his head to the side.

“To be honest I’m still not clear on the whole concept of train names,” Taako mutters over Angus to Magnus.

“Graham is good! Graham is great! Turns out that when you _work_ on a train, you can use your train name all the time!”

“Oh, thank goodness, I thought it was just me,” Magnus hisses back to Taako as he reaffixes the desk to his chair. He prods it a few times and seems satisfied when it doesn’t so much as waver. “Hey, Ango, how many more shitty desks are there? Do you think I can sneak to them during this shindig? I’m real good at sneaking.”

“Not as good as me!” Carey says.

“Hey, congrats though, Graham, real cool that you finally figured your shit out. Rockport Limited?” Taako redirects the conversation.

“Huh, yeah! They, uh, they had to open up the job what with the whole ‘murder’ thing. And I met my best friend because they also needed a new engineer!” Graham says proudly.

“You finally settle on a school of magic too?”

“Ha, yeah! Conjuration’s where it’s at!”

“YEAH!” Merle shouts, raising his arms where he sits. Davenport shakes his head, a fond smile on his face.

“All right!” Lucas calls. “Everyone, everyone, please!”

“Speech! Speech!” Magnus starts, with Carey, Killian, Taako, Merle, and even Lucretia quickly joining in. Angus spares a moment to wonder why Avi doesn’t as well.

“Uh, well, okay, I guess.” Lucas clears his throat. “Uh, welcome everyone, to the first Career Day at the Academy of Arcane Sciences. I’m the Headmaster, Lucas Miller, so, uh, hi.”

“Hi, Lucas!” Nineteen voices (at minimum) chorus, and Angus hides a smile.

“Uh, hi. Again. So we’ve invited-”

The doors at the top of the room swing open wide, and a gust of wind sweeps over the room. A familiar head of white, but not quite white hair pops through. “Oh! We aren’t late, are we?” Lucas opens his mouth and attempts to form words, but no sounds come out. “Oh, I’m just kidding! I know we’re right on time!”

Istus, the Raven Queen, and Pan walk through as though this is something they do quite regularly (granted, given their attendance at his parent-teacher conference, this might very well become a regular sort of thing for all Angus knows). Istus and the Raven Queen serenely ignore the gaping as they pass, while Pan shoots finger guns at anyone that makes eye contact. Angus turns to the front. Lucas has backed up to the wall and nearly climbed onto the table behind him.

The three gods quickly make their way to the front of the room and take the three remaining seats between Merle and Paloma, Pan next to Merle and Istus next to Paloma. Paloma offers Istus a scone, which the goddess delightedly accepts. Meanwhile, the Halfling behind the Raven Queen looks both mildly put out a sitting behind such a tall personage as well as far too intimidated by the goddess to ask any favors. Even as Angus watches, this group too discreetly moves back a few rows to be able to see.

“Right. Well, uh, I think this has _got_ to be… everyone-” And Angus thinks this is when Lucas finally realizes that though the Raven Queen is here, her trio of Reapers is conspicuously absent. “So, since everyone’s here… let’s get the ball rolling then. We’ve invited you the parents and your students here to discuss your various careers, to, to better give the students ideas about where they want to go and what they want to do. So, first up will be-”

First up is the Gnomish rogue that Angus saw earlier. Carey spends the whole time sulking about how _she’s_ gotta be a better rogue. The tiefling cleric somehow manages to adopt everyone in the audience (somehow including the gods) over the course of her speech before anyone realizes what happens. The tall barkeeper gives a nod to Lucretia before they speak, giving Angus some remarkably interesting insight into the many adventures that tavern owners across Faerun see starting within their establishments. An aasimar healer discusses how busy they were kept after the Day and other emergencies they handle (but they also tolerate Magnus’s _many_ questions about what it’s like to just fly around). Tom Bodett talks about the factories of Rockport and keeping the light on for you. The Air Genasi warlock spends several minutes talking about the varied and mysterious nature of the spells they receive from their bond with their patron, something Taako carefully ignores when Hunger of Hadar is mentioned. The Druid flits around the room in the form of a hummingbird, making sharp turns and dives that have even Davenport impressed. The timid Tabaxi librarian squeaks out a story about working in the massive Neverwinter library (something Angus rather enjoys).

And so on, and so on. Until.

“And, uh, now.” Lucas pauses and lets out a long sigh. “Now we have _all_ of the parents of one… Angus McDonald.”

A squabble immediately commences over who gets to go first. Magnus wants to talk about carpentry and training dogs, and he’s holding his hands over Johann’s ears to protect him from the noise. Lucretia wants to talk about authoring her many, many books. Davenport is insistently talking about the practical aspects of sailing while Merle is pointing out that his god is literally here and sitting next to him (Pan, for his part, is mostly arguing via excessive finger guns). Carey, Killian, and Brad are all discussing the various points of their work for the BoB (in both its incarnations). Ren is talking about the work associated with running both the Davy Lamp and Taako’s school, and Avi is nodding along fervently with her every other word. Hurley and Sloane are shedding countless pink flower petals as they even more vehemently than usual proclaim the wonders of battlewagon racing. Roswell is tweeting up a storm as they circle the group, flying overhead, while Cassidy has started pitching root beer barrels to seemingly everyone in the audience. Istus is saying she already knows how all this turns out, while the Raven Queen is growing taller and darker (the people now in the fourth row look to be contemplating moving further back already) and Paloma has pulled a warhammer out of seemingly nowhere. Klaarg is comparatively placid, even as he’s dodging projectile candy, but Jess has got her axe out, and Graham is conjuring up flowers, rambling about how flowers made everyone happy in the pleasure chamber.

Surprisingly, Taako is quiet. Angus tilts his head to the side, watching. Taako looks like he’s still waiting for something. What, Angus isn’t sure.

Of course, that question is soon answered with the sound of a rift opening, barely audible under all the arguing, but Angus’s eyes track the arc of a long rift opening across the front of the room. Taako perks up, finally shifting his feet off the chair to the ground below as a trio of familiar figures step through.

“Hello, Neverwinter!” Lup calls out, arms spread wide and scythe held aloft as though she were greeting a massive crowd before a concert, soaking in the attention with everyone riveted on her. “Are you ready for the Reapers?” Kravitz and Barry follow after, the former lighting up when he spots Taako, and the latter walking into Kravitz, too focused on something in the Astral Plane behind him to pay attention where he’s going. As Kravitz and Barry stumble and straighten up, Lup slings an arm over each of their shoulders and goes on, “So, uh, you all know who we are.” She points her index fingers inward toward her husband and soon-to-be brother-in-law and grins widely.

“And, uh, that’s not, that’s not an _ego_ thing,” Kravitz interjects, ducking out from under Lup’s arm and readjusting his cloak. “Just, well, we all heard the Story, so you know them, and I guess, at minimum you know some of the stories with a lowercase S about me. Uh. The Grim Reaper. You know those stories.”

“True, but, uh, yeah, let’s do real introductions. I’m Barry, uh Barry Bluejeans. Hi. This is Kravitz. And this is my beautiful, brilliant, amazing wife, Lup.” Barry smiles wide as Lup leans over even further to peck him on the cheek at that. But he also seems to get distracted from continuing any further.

“Now, we’re all Reapers, in the employ of the Raven Queen, the goddess of the natural order of life and death.” Angus hears the talk among his family start to rise again, including Merle distinctly complaining about the three showing up late and still getting to go first. “We work to track down necromancers and wayward souls, to ensure that the natural order of things is followed.” Kravitz purses his lips and blows out a breath. Angus sees his eyes flick in the direction of the Raven Queen, and when he looks to the goddess as well, Angus gets the distinct impression that the goddess of life and death shrugs. Naturally, Istus notices. She gives Angus a wink and a nod. “So. Uh, that, that makes what we’re about to do, uh, seem really, mm, probably bad.”

“Easy, Ghost Rider, let me explain,” Lup interrupts Kravitz, and he seems more than happy to cede the floor. “Listen. We, and a bunch of others, like holy shit, Ango, is this every adult you know- anyway, we’re all here because we’re parents, or close to it, for Angus. But it’s not _just_ us, not entirely. And because it’s Angus, we’re gonna bend the rules, just like… a hair. This much.” Lup pinches her fingers close together. Barry shrugs and then mimics Lup’s gesture. Kravitz slaps a hand to his face. Lup’s face turns solemn but happy, with the light of the Astral Plane playing off her hair. “Anyway, without further fuckin’ ado… we brought Noelle and Johann.”

The subsequent wave of gasps almost seeming to part them, Barry and Lup step gracefully to the side, as smoothly as if they were dancing, and Kravitz steps to the other. Out of the still open rift to the glowing Astral Plane step two figures, looking almost real but still faintly incorporeal, with the glow of a soul in an ephemeral construct. Standing next to Kravitz is a half-elf man, with a silly hat and sillier pants and a more content look than Angus can recall ever seeing on his face. Standing next to Lup and Barry is a Halfling woman with wild curls and freckled cheeks dimpling as she grins wide.

“Uh. Hey, everyone. Nice to see you again, I guess.”

“Hey, everyone! I’ve missed all y’all so much!”

So caught up is Angus with the shock of seeing Johann and Noelle once more, that he almost misses a third, unfamiliar figure with them. Kravitz looks behind him to Lucas and whispers something Angus can’t make out. But Lucas looks to the slightly older, wiry human woman in shock and mouths a single word.

“Mom?”

As the rift closes behind them, Maureen Miller takes the few strides to her son and encloses Lucas in a rib-cracking hug, quasi-intangible nature be damned.

“And, uh, we brought one more guest, because it is a day for parents or parent-type figures and their kids, but how about we finally get going?” Barry says to a silent room. Someone begins clapping. And then more. Raucous applause and cheering and quite a few hugs for Johann and Noelle that only dies down when Barry, Lup, Taako, Lucretia, _and_ Davenport start prestidigitating sparks to get everyone’s attention back on the program. Lucas, for his part, doesn’t seem to mind the delay, being too caught up in rapidly conversing with his mom. Angus doesn’t mind either; he’s too busy smiling.

So finally, finally Angus’s family starts speaking. The Reaper Squad tells some tall tales of Reaping with Kravitz breaking out his work voice, Barry getting perhaps a bit too enthusiastic about necromancy, Lup almost setting the room on fire at least three times, and some interjections from the Raven Queen herself. Lucretia answers questions about her writing and outlining process, which mostly seems to be a variant of throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. Magnus waxes philosophical about the different kinds of woods used for carving and goes full Fantasy Lion King with Johann the puppy (Johann the bard has his head in his hands for this), complete with a very off-key rendition of the Circle of Life, as he talks about Hammer and Tails. Merle is joined by his deity for talking about his various cleric duties and ends his presentation handing out pamphlets on Pan and the Extreme Teen Adventures alike. Davenport gets incredibly excited about the minutiae of sailing before transitioning over to space ships in particular. Avi follows in the same vein talking about the interior workings of the moon base cannons, while Brad calmly points out that HR is a very stable role in a world of adventurers. Carey, Killian, and Noelle talk about being Regulators, along with Carey and Killian’s current job rebuilding with the Bureau of Benevolence and Noelle’s past working in her family’s orchard and cider press. Ren speaks about multitasking with the Davy Lamp and working with Taako to run his school. Roswell puffs up with pride discussing their role as sheriff of Refuge, while Cassidy focuses less on being the Elder of Refuge and more how best to blow up mines. Paloma talks about fate and prophecies and crystals and scones in one long speech that wouldn’t appear to go together but does, as Istus nods along. Graham practically bounces through his explanation of his work on the Rockport Limited. Jess and Klaarg talk about midworld wrestling and sign more than a few autographs as they go. Hurley and Sloane elaborate on how they’ve revolutionized battlewagon racing and how its future likely does not involve any kind of actual flying. And Johann plays a fraction of “March of the Forgotten,” staring up in wonder as he sees, perhaps for the first time in years, so many people listening to him alone, for the sake of music alone, and reduced to tears.

Finally, having waited seemingly patiently, Taako squeezes Kravitz’s hand, his fiancé having sat next to him when he’d finished speaking earlier, and he stands up. Rather than simply walking around, he climbs over Lup and Barry, sitting in front of him and Kravitz. Lup sticks her tongue out at her brother as he goes, and Angus hides his laughter in his hand.

“So. I’m Taako? You know, from TV?” Taako opens his speech with the familiar line, and a quick chorus of laughter goes through the audience. “So, uh, you probably think you know most of my shit because you heard the Story, all that saving the world and feats of heroism. And I’m here today to tell you-” and here Taako grins wide, giving Angus a wink, “-that it’s all true. Yeah. I _am_ the multiverse’s best Transmutation wizard, a phenomenally baller chef, a Resident Chef and Arcanist from the multi-planed renowned IPRE, former Lead Reclaimer for the old BoB, a savior of the world, and the headmaster of the _best_ school for magic, arcane science, and assorted blowing shit up.” Taako ticks off on his fingers as he goes. “Ren can personally verify that last one.”

“And he’s humble, too!” Merle yells.

“Right, right. But, listen, I’m also here, or here specifically, cause I think, er, I _hope_ I’m a pretty good… halfway decent… dad… parent… type figure. Mentor. And all that.” Taako looks at Angus. Angus blinks. Oh. It’s a question.

So Angus, grinning widely, nods. And Taako’s face splits into a wide grin of his own. “So. Who’s got questions?”

Career Day goes on far longer than announced (and far longer than even Lucas planned), as Taako and the rest of Angus’s parents take more questions from Angus’s eager classmates and their equally eager parents. Eventually though, as all things do, it draws to a close.

And this time, Angus knows more what to expect: a wild, wonderful family dinner full of food and jokes and conversation and laughter. They all head out of the lecture hall and through the halls of the school in a crowd, and Angus lingers at the back of it. Taako and Kravitz still seem to be waiting for something.

Angus stops entirely once they’ve stepped out of the school onto the streets of Neverwinter, watching as the large group continues onward toward the Taaco-Bluejeans household, several staying behind.

“You’re coming, too, aren’t you?” Kravitz asks Lucas and Maureen. “I mean, we could always just, uh, come pick you up later, but… well, it’s family dinner.” He says plainly.

Lucas and Maureen look at each other. “Yeah, uh, I mean, a lot of you tried to murder me previously.”

“You also froze us and nearly got us killed though,” Taako drawls, a gleam in his eye.

“The almost dying was all his fault though!” Lucas exclaims, pointing at Kravitz. “Oh wait. You’re joking? You’re definitely joking. You’re joking, right?” Lucas stares suspiciously at a smirking Taako.

“He’s joking,” Angus confirms when Taako and Kravitz seem unlikely to answer.

“Oh. Uh. Cool then. Mom?”

“Let’s go see everyone.” Maureen says, and the two head off after the main group. Angus watches them, waiting for a moment before turning back.

“So.” Angus looks to Taako and Kravitz expectantly. “Since you can’t exactly offer to adopt me twice, what’s this about?”

Kravitz laughs, the sound filling the Neverwinter square. “Smart as ever, this one.”

Taako snorts, warmth in his eyes. “You know, Agnes, you are the worst kid I’ve ever adopted ever.”

“I’m the only-” Angus cuts himself off when, as before, Taako hands him some paperwork. Angus immediately takes it and looks it over. His eyes grow wide as he skims the letters at the top, and he starts reading faster.

“Okay, listen, listen, we all know this and the legal system and all that shit has taken, uh, _forever_, but, I mean, that’s, that’s the way of things when you’re splitting custody of a kid like eight different ways!” Angus looks up. Taako and Kravitz look to each other momentarily, soft smiles across both of their faces, before they both look down to Angus.

“The paperwork was officially signed off today,” Kravitz tells him. “We wanted to surprise you.”

“Good surprise, sir.” Angus says, holding the papers back out with trembling hands. Taako carefully takes the paperwork back from him, and Kravitz equally carefully puts it away. “So. Um. I guess… I guess we go home now?” Home. Home to family and loved ones and eight brand new _official_ parents.

“Let’s go home, pumpkin.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!
> 
> So, this is my contribution for TAZiversary (finale was two years Saturday, start was five years Sunday). Yes, I am in fact late, but I maintain this isn't bad for only remembering at 11 PM on Friday. Also, I made a whole seating chart for this; I know exactly where they all are.
> 
> Kudos and comment to feed your local fic author, and subscribe, go to my works page, or head to [charmandhex](charmandhex.tumblr.com) for more content!


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